.:Chuck Norris & Vin Diesel facts:.

[ozzylogic]

Get more here:

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

   Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
   There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live. 
   Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. 
   The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain. 
   There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist. 
   Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill. 
   The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer 
   Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls. 
   Chuck Norris is my Homeboy. 
   Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING 
   When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
   Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
   Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
   Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
   Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
   Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
   When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
   Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
   Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
   There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
   Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
   Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
   Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
   Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
   Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
   Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
   Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

[shariqq]

Hahaha!! Real Good!!

I've read something along the same lines for muh fave Vin Diesel too. I'll try to look it up.

[ozzylogic]

Hahaha!! Real Good!!

I've read something along the same lines for muh fave Vin Diesel too. I'll try to look it up.

Aha! Another Vin Diesel fan here! That makes 2 of us!

[sulphurhead]

- If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End Lives."
- When Vin Diesel goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
- A few people can lift Thor's hammer, but Vin Diesel's the only one who can beat Thor's ass with it.
- Vin Diesel is the only one who can "try this at home."
- Vin Diesel invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
- In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vin Diesel could use to kill you, including the room itself.
- Dairy Queen used to be Dairy King before Vin Diesel made it his bitch.
- Vin Diesel wears a cup not to protect himself, but to protect the players on the other team.
- When the girl from the ring climbed out of Vin's TV, he stood up, cleared his throat, stretched calmly, and booted her straight back in.
- When Vin Diesel deletes files from his computer, he doesn't send them to the Recycle Bin. He sends them to hell.
- Vin Diesel invented the Swiss Army Knife then founded Switzerland so that there would be an army to use it.
- Vin Diesel invented the Swiss Army Knife then founded Switzerland so that there would be an army to use it.
- Onions do not make Vin Diesel cry. Vin Diesel makes onions shit themselves.
- Vin Diesel does not believe in ghosts. Ghosts believe in him.
- Vin Diesel is actually several hundred feet tall. However, he is immune to the laws of perspective.
- Vin Diesel discovered Australia on his way to the bathroom.

[shariqq]

You Found It!! AWESOME!!!

Loved this one most : - When Vin Diesel deletes files from his computer, he doesn't send them to the Recycle Bin. He sends them to hell.


There are many many more out there 

[shariqq]

Ozzy, Administrator or Moderator : Please correct the spelling of "Chunk" on the title thread.

[ozzylogic]

I made the same typo in another forum. Thanks for pointing it out Shreq.

[sulphurhead]

yeah - lots more, but i picked up some of the funnier ones

[shariqq]

Some more on the MAN himself:

• Vin Diesel makes onions cry
• Vin Diesel can delete the Recycle Bin.
• Ghosts are actually caused by Vin Diesel killing people faster than Death can process them.
• Vin Diesel can build a snowman..... out of rain.
• Vin Diesel can strangle you with a cordless phone.
• Vin Diesel can drown a fish.
• When Vin Diesel enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on,......... .... he turns the dark off.
• When Vin Diesel looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Vin Diesel and Vin Diesel.
• Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards.
  Vin Diesel can throw Brett Favre even further.
• The last digit of pi is Vin Diesel. He is the end of all things.
• Vin Diesel does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
• Bullets dodge Vin Diesel.
• A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Vin Diesel and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
• Vin Diesel' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Vin Diesel.
• If you spell Vin Diesel wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Vin Diesel?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
• Vin Diesel can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
• Once a cobra bit Vin Diesel' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
• When Vin Diesel gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
• Vin Diesel can kill two stones with one bird.
• Vin Diesel was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
• Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Vin Diesel can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
• There is no such thing as global warming. Vin Diesel was cold, so he turned the sun up.
• Vin Diesel can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
• Vin Diesel has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way.
• It takes Vin Diesel 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
• Vin Diesel once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
• In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vin Diesel could use to kill you, including the room itself.
• Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Vin Diesel.
• Vin Diesel destroyed the periodic table, because Vin Diesel only recognizes the element of surprise.
• Vin Diesel got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
• With the rising cost of gasoline, Vin Diesel is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
• The square root of Vin Diesel is pain. Do not try to square Vin Diesel, the result is death.
• When you say "no one's perfect", Vin Diesel takes this as a personal insult.

[ozzylogic]

OMG, can't believe this thread is 2 years old! Thank you for resurrecting it Shreq!