Day of the Dead (Miner, 2008)IMDB LinkThe remake of George A. Romero’s “Dawn of the Dead” (the second of Romero’s Dead series) was an unexpected success, so one would expect the remake of his third Dead movie to be not a total trash. Okay, fine, maybe “Dawn of the Dead” was a fluke, but still, the third one should get a decent treatment.
It is not like the people behind the remake are retards. It is directed by Steve Miner, who while not being a top horror director, is not a total noob to the scene. He has made the second and third “Friday the 13th” and I remember being scared with “House” as a kid. And I think “Warlock” is a bit cultish, although I haven’t seen it. In the blue corner, we have screenwriter Jeffrey Reddick who was responsible for penning “Final Destination”.
How come then is the movie so abysmal? The movie has nothing to do with the “Day of the Dead” movie. I mean, nothing. I didn’t want a scene by scene remake, but at least stick to the original premise. “Day of the Dead”, the original one, was to do with a near future where zombies have spread so much that humans are hiding away in bunkers.
Let the remake at least stick to this basic idea. Zombies too much, humans hiding. But no. The movie starts with teenagers making out (already movie loses points), small town is under a quarantine, zombies attack, while the token black character acts all niggerly. Yo!
Oh yeah, the zombies are the speedy kind. Actually, no. More than speedy. They, get this, climb walls and crawl on ceilings. And when they turn into zombies, they decompose in a few seconds. And in one scene, one of the zombies becomes all matrixy and dodges bullets.
If this all sounds like loads of fun, it isn’t. It is annoyingly bad and the gore is all CGI, so if you like shiny and animated blood, then you’d love the gore here.
A complete waste of time and an insult to Romero’s classic “Day of the Dead”.
1/5
